Lies We Believe When Raising a Neurodiverse Kid
This is not good for anyone, Friend.
What is neurodiversity?
Let’s back up a bit. What exactly do I mean by neurodiversity? According to Understood.org,
Neurodiversity is a viewpoint that brain differences are normal, rather than deficits. The idea of neurodiversity can have benefits for kids with learning and thinking differences. This concept can help reduce stigma around learning and thinking differences.
For all intents and purposes, I’m including kids with:
- Sensory Processings Issues,
- Learning Differences
- Adoption, trauma, etc…
Do We Really Celebrate Diversity?
Here is the deal. We say we celebrate diversity, but then we shame those who don’t fall in line. The kids who:
- act differently,
- say the “wrong” thing,
- look differently because they wear the wrong clothes,
- like the “wrong” things…
For the sake of our neurodiverse kids’ futures, this has got to stop.
Christian Parents Need Examine Longheld Beliefs
Perhaps, our kids were never meant to “fall in line”?
If you’re a Christian mom raising a neurodiverse kid, you may struggle with this concept. Many of us have been told by our church culture that behavior A, B, & C are appropriate. Then we are told that Behaviors X, Y and Z are inappropriate.
The next message is loud and clear. It’s our job to control our kids’ behaviors based on these rules. But what happens when our kids do things differently? When they don’t respond and fall in line? We often panic and push harder with the same old parenting strategies that DO NOT work.
Click On Image Below To Find Encouragement & Support, Friend.
Moms of ADHD & Autism Need To Think Differently
Maybe you are the momma who watches her child break down with anxiety when it’s “homework” time.
Or are you the mom who has been “kicked out” of playgroup because your child doesn’t know how to “behave” appropriately?
Perhaps you’re like so many moms who wake at 2:00 am overwhelmed and gripped with fear. You know your child is struggling but you don’t know what to do. Your mind races as to what you can do to lift up and support your child well. Everything the “experts” tell you only causes angst, pain and broken relationship between you and your child.
RELATED EPISODE: Episode 29- Why We Must Parent Our Kids Differently
Sensory Meltdowns Are Not Bad Behavior
Or you may be the mom who is late to church because your kid had a meltdown in the parking lot because the tag on her new pair of pants is driving her INSANE.
You try desperately to create cohesion in between your kids, but your one child screams bloody murder because his sister won’t stop singing.
Your child is overwhelmed and needs you to stop and love them through it, but all eyes are on you telling you to nip it in the bud.
Shame. One of the most destructive tools of the enemy
RELATED POST: Zones of Regulation- Self-Regulation For The Family
Are you over it?
You may be over listening to those who advise you to continue pushing, disciplining and punishing for “bad behavior.”
- That you aren’t praying hard enough.
- You are too lenient.
- Your child is manipulating you and has to learn sometime.
Have these approaches been successful? I’m going to take a guess that it’s not going well.
Neurodiverse Kids Need Us to Believe in Them
What would happen if we moms came together and started to think outside-the-box for our uniquely-wired kids?
When our approach to our exhuasted and “out-of-control” kid is a co-regulating hug rather than the acceptable time-out, what if we’ve got each others’ backs?
Collectively mothers can fight against the unhealthy desire to people please and change the narrative for our uniquely-wired kids. They too, have been fearfully and wonderfully made.
Ignore The Haters: Proudly Own The Helicopter Parent Title
And when the naysayers call us helicopter parents, we confidently hold our heads high knowing we’re doing the best we can to meet the needs of our own unique kids. Together, we can embrace our kids’ unique-wiring and allow our kids to be who they are.
Moms sharing a vision of a bright and thriving future for each of our unique children.
Raising a Neurodiverse Kid: Change the Narrative of ADHD, Autism & Anxiety
Let’s change the narrative for our outside-the-box thinkers. For our kids with:
- Sensory Processing Issues
- Learning Differences
Or for the kids who may not have a diagnosis:
- The child who says, “I don’t know” all the time…
- Or the one who can’t stop moving, talking or is impulsive,
- The kid whose room is always a mess,
- Here is a BIG one… the child who won’t obey no matter what…
Is the traditional approach working? It’s time for us moms to come together and change the narrative for our outside-the-box kids. There is a better way. I think we can. In fact, I know we can because we are already doing it. We would love to have you join us.
Raising ADHD & Autism Kids Through A New Lens
When we shift our thinking, we then will be able to equip our kids with what they need. We mommas can then give them the support, encouragement and tools they need to use those perceived weaknesses as the strengths that they really are.
No more kids growing up with self-worth that tells them they will never be good enough so why bother.
Every child has been blessed by God with gifts, passions and purpose.
Let’s begin to parent them this way, Mommas.
We are in this together equipping our uniquely-designed kids to thrive.
P.S Check out my friend Tina’s story
My dear friend, Tina, has been living out this momma growth mindset with her teen daughter. Tina’s daughter was diagnosed with Selective Mutism, just one of many forms of childhood anxiety, at the age of 12. Her daughter shares her story navigating the world of not being able to speak outside the safety of her home for years. She offers 5 tips to support our anxious kids. Note how she describes her mother’s role in supporting her.