AHEART #27 | Tips to Deal With Sibling Rivalry

Why would anyone want to know how to deal with sibling rivalry? I mean really.  Isn’t that a no brainer?

Personally, I just love it when my kids are fighting.  Nothing brings me more joy than when the oldest is picking on the youngest. Even better… when the kids are wrestling for the remote control and end up whacking one another with passionate rage and aggression!

Yes!  What a proud and peaceful mom moment!!  Said NO MOMMA EVER!!


Constant Sibling Fighting & Bickering

In this episode, I speak specifically to a mom in AHFAS Private Community. She is open and honest about losing her ever loving mind with the kids’ constant fighting and bickering.

I hear you, Girlfriend, I hear you. We all hear you.

How To Deal With Sibling Rivalry

Today, we’re talking about how to deal with our kids’ sibling rivalry.

  • Mom’s frame of mind & reaching out the the Lord for miraculous calm in those moments
  • Address the answer to the ultimate question about how to fix sibling rivalry? Is that even possible?
  • Addressing the root issues behind the tension
  • Specific language and verbiage to use in those moments when you want to scream at the kids to


sibling rivalry help


Is Sibling Rivalry Normal?

In the end, it’s super important to remember that sibling rivalry is normal. It’s to be expected because we are broken people living in a broken world.

Just because we’re a Christian family, does not mean we’re immune to the realities of relational conflict. Expecting to avoid tensions between our kids is unreasonable and only sets us all up for failure.

Resetting our mom expectations is often the most important factor when navigating these tough moments.

Strategy To Deal With Sibling Rivalry

All this and I’ll offer a specific strategy to end sibling rivalry that I like to call Peacemaker Points. (While this will likely work up until the age of 12, you can use the general principle of this strategy to end sibling rivalry in older sibling synamics).

Be encouraged, Momma! Sibling rivalry is no fun, but remember that these relationships are to be a blessing to our children as they learn how to navigate conflict. God has chosen these kids to be the sibling of the others and I believe wholeheartedly that He is in this 100% with them.

In the end, it’s really not only on Mom to solve these issues. We just get to participate at some level. We won’t be able to fix it always. And that is ok, Friend.

Listen to the episode and let me know your thoughts. Comment below. And please do subscribe and write a review if you’ve been encouraged. We’re in this together.

For more encouragement and mom support as we navigate the messy of parenting, register for the 5 Day Devotional Series For The Exhausted Mom. Check out the first module right away!

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Links And Resources From This Podcast


Podcast Audio Text

Hey, friend, in today’s episode, I’m going to answer another question from Sweet Jessica, from A Heart For All Students private community. She asks me all about the big loaded question. How do I deal with sibling rivalry? She tells me, Hey, my oldest is constantly picking on my youngest. My youngest starts screaming. Their dynamic drives me absolutely crazy and I pretty much almost lose my momma mind.

Read Full Text…


Key Ideas And Concepts About How to Deal With Sibling Rivalry

How do I deal with sibling rivalry?

What Mom hasn’t tried to solve the sibling rivalry thing?

Find out about “Peacemaker Points”.

So it’s really we have to get ourselves together mentally so that we can appropriately help our kids along through these difficult things.

Sibling rivalry is brutal.

OK, what about it? Is driving you insane the noise? You feel like you should be able to stop it. And therefore, are you hearing in your head that you’re a bad mom?

We really want to talk about or figure out what is behind the behavior.

What is going on with your oldest? What is he frustrated about? What is he emotional about? Why is he picking on his little brother? We don’t know the reasons.

Find a way to capture a few minutes just with that child, to enjoy some time together and then broach the subject. Try to, like, engage him in the conversation. Ask questions. Let him know that you hear him.

One of the strategies I use is I called them Peacemaker Points.

Collaboratively they would agree upon that they were earning together and that helped them and gave them an external motivation, but also helped them recognize the times when the other one was giving the other one grace.

Now it does require parenting involvement and it requires you to really focus in on finding your children, loving each other well.

But I promise you, it will yield fruit even if you challenge yourself each morning.

devotional for moms raising adhd, autism, special needs

Select What You Want To Hear

In the above podcast player, you can use the episode chapter icon (bottom center) to select what you want to hear. Also you can use the pop up icon (far right) to share this podcast on social media or download it for later listening. Enjoy!

    • [02:14] My Oldest Is Picking On My Youngest
    • [03:37] Well, what about it?
    • [05:47] Peacekeeper Points
    • [07:19] Collaborative Process


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