“I’ll always need parenting help.”
One thing I’ve learned in this parenting journey is that I’ll never have parenting figured out. I’m always going to need parenting help and that is ok. God, in His mercy, allowed me to let go of the belief that I could do this thing on my own. The journey to accept my need for help as necessary and vital to me and my family began with the adoption of my son.
Domestic Adoption Led To Parenting Humility
Our boy rocked our world with his aggression, screaming, inability to focus for more than three seconds. In the years searching for answers, I finally realized that I am not in control. I’ve learned that my job is to be a vessel to point my kids to God. The Lord has opened my eyes to my many limitations and I’m grateful for this. No matter how hard I fought it (and still sometimes continue to).
Carol’s Story: Embracing Her Need For Parenting Help
Today I am honored to have a sweet momma share her story with you. Ms. Carol Parker, a mom of three, shares her perspective of letting go of parenting perfection. Welcome to our community, Carol!!
Motherhood In The Second Rodeo
The other day, I saw a funny post by Simon Holland:
“I didn’t realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo. That’s still a very low number of rodeos.”
I laughed. As I kept scrolling I couldn’t help but wonder.
‘Do I believe I’m supposed to have my parenting figured out by now?’
Third Time’s A Charm In Parenting?
When my youngest was born, he ended up having jaundice. This led to a number of extra pediatrician visits. I remember that at one of those appointments, I asked the doctor a million questions. After my speed round of “ask the doctor EVERYTHING,” I joked,
“If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this was my first baby.”
He laughed and then assured me that my questions were welcome and that he was happy to “nerd out” and explain it all to me.
Need For Parenting Help Never Ends
In that moment with the doctor, I felt silly because this was baby number 3. This was the third time I’d been through this exact medical issue. And yet, I couldn’t shake this sense of embarrassment about my concern about my son’s jaundice. Clearly, my need for parenting help was still there.
Mom Shame & Embarrassment
Unfortunately, I’ve noticed a pattern in the knee jerk reaction I get when I tell people that I have 3 kids.
“Oh! Well, you know what you are doing. You’re a pro.”
Those comments leave me feeling like I should be a pro, but really I’m figuring it out (messily) everyday. The reality of my life put up against such innocent comments makes me feel like a fraud.
This further feeds my need to at least seem like I have it ALL under control.
Under Control Is Not Real
But guess what? I’m not a mom who has it all figured out and or under control. Truthfully, my guess is, neither are you. And that’s not a bad thing.
Embracing Motherhood Failures
What if, instead of being embarrassed, we chose to embrace the truth that we’re not supposed to have it all figured out? Can’t we be ok with needing parenting help regardless of the number of children at our table or their ages?
Parenting Is A Journey
Parenting is a journey. It’s a learning process where every kid in your care is different, even when they experience the same things (like jaundice in my case).
So I say, ask all your questions. Ask for and accept help (often). And surround yourself with parents who are not ashamed to admit that they are also finding their way.
Embracing Our Need For Parenting Help
Most importantly, let go of knowing it all and allow others to come alongside you to help you fill in the gaps. That’s what makes this journey great.
[box type=”bio”] Carol Parker is a mom of 3 beautiful babies. She is headed full force into toddlerhood and can’t wait to see what she learns about herself as she learns to parent her kiddos. To connect with Carol, email her directly at [email protected] goes here[/box]
3 Recommended Books for Overwhelmed Moms
Carol’s message sparked my own memories of learning to let go of being the perfect mom and, instead, embracing the reality of my limitations. I’m grateful that I’ll always need parenting help. One of the perks is community with other moms and a greater dependence on God Himself.
Below I have listed three of my favorite faith-based parenting books. Each one has met me in a harder season of motherhood. Hope one of these faith-based parenting books meets you in your journey.
This one is mine and I’m a little biased. The reality is that it’s our personal stories that change us the most. I do hope my story encourages and equips you.
- Infertility and adoption,
- my son’s volatile behaviors,
- hitting rock bottom as a mother,
- how God has radically changed me as a parent and educator,
- and the 4 step parenting framework that will change it all.
Grace For The Good Girl is an excellent read for the woman smothered by the to-dos and unrealistic expectations of life. This book will offer you encouragement, Biblical truth and wisdom to help you live in grace. Life changing book!!
I read Triggers in one of my darkest seasons with my son. In my sleep-deprived, exhausted state, I experienced some rough moments of anger and rage. This was one of the first times that I read a book where Christian moms were honest about their struggles with anger. They share ideas as to how to navigate this natural (but often life-sucking) emotion.
Your Favorite Parenting Support Resources?
So, Momma Friend, what say you? Where are you in your parenting journey? What tools, strategies and resources have supported you well in your daily mom moments? Share your thoughts below. We’re in this together!
Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you do end up purchasing any of the recommended items through this link, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you. I appreciate your support.